Some days I really do have this thing called life. Other days I understand why people stick their noses into their phones, block their face from the whining sound of children and tune out in the name of real/fake news.  It’s 11 am and I am already beat up. I am not whining these are just the facts, just the facts ma’am.  6 am get up dress and feed baby, set out meds for middle kids, wake middle kids, twice. Wake two more kids, scrap breakfast together, sign all forms that were to be signed last night, MAKE COFFEE (sorry, caps got stuck, not.) Run baby out to bus in the dark, sidestepping the skateboard and hopping over the scooter left in the driveway.  Drag up trash cans in the dark. Herd two middle kids out to their bus, scream and wake up neighbors “Did you get your ipad for speech?”. Come back in and meet the responsible kid at the door who has signed up early to sell pencils to less responsible kids at school, so she can tell you its time to go. Run past her and holler at the teenager “For the love of all things good and decent “GET UP”! At least that is what I meant to say. From the look on his face it may have been auto corrected on the way out of my mouth. Blow him a kiss and run out the door to drive one responsible kid to school.  Come back home, brew second cup of COFFEE (#Ilovekeurig) and skeedaddle off to last school with last kid who has had all the time in the world to get ready and is complaining he needs to fix his hair. Smile and blow another kiss where his friends can see me as he gets out of the car. Breathe a sigh of freedom, then go to bank and drive to my store 15 miles away to drop off payroll by 8:30 am.  Get a biscuit at the local drive thru since I need change and they give change (haha). Ponder weight gain as I shove biscuit in and wash down with a thimble size senior sweet tea. Go back home and walk in the front door in synchronicity to phone ringing.  Its the principal at the wingless wonder’s school.  I don’t say Hi, I say “ALREADY???”  Whipping a u-turn I go over to his school 10 miles in the opposite direction from where I just came.  I am mad even upon arrive, having spent ten miles praying for patience and wisdom. I ask for a conference room and give him a spanking because we are NOT allowed to throw things at classmates and teachers at school or anywhere else on this planet (and he has mastered this rule at home). We are also NOT allowed cuss words, which he may or may not have used today, I forgot to ask.  At some point the principal mentions taking my wonder boy down to a half day schedule again but I growl Hell No, remembering I am trying to teach people not to cuss. Either way, she doesn’t finish her thoughts on that but disappears with the closing door.  It is now ten am.  Whether anyone agrees with a spanking or not, I don’t care. It kept me out of prison most likely and I am a responsible-ish adult.  I am willing to give credit where credit is due, thanks mom, for spanking me.  I just keep thinking that someday some judge is going to be looking down on wonder-boy and not caring that he had a rough beginning to life.  This is also the same way Jesus is trying to help us.   We need a start over, a repent point, a stop and ask what are you DOING kind of moment.  Because one day we are going to be standing alone in front of the Creator on judgement day. It will not matter that we had a bad life or a bad day. It is what we do with it. Do I pray? Do I ask for help? Can I learn something here? Jesus can you just come back today??

Our theme as a family is starting to shape up to embrace the word “freedom”.  The more we can hang within the boundaries of the rules, the more time we have to enjoy our life together.  I mean really kids, am I busy bawling you out or are we planning to go play together?  I reiterate this to them the more I learn it, which is daily.  But here is the real kicker.  As much as I want to stick my nose into my phone, if I would just stick my nose into the Word of God this is the absolute total difference in whether I have freedom in my own day or not.  This is a challenge to myself. This is my ARMOR! (like coffee except it is a real armor) Can I do this for ten days and see if I am not stronger and wiser? See if I am calmer and more focused? See if I can handle being thrown off of life’s horse better. Hey with practice I bet I could even land on my feet occasionally.  The reason I know in my heart this works is because of one thing.  The Ruach Hachodesh. Hebrew word for the Holy Spirit.

I have been looking in to that entity lately and a few things have become solid.  Jesus hung out with friends and loved them dearly two thousand years ago.  God hung out with Moses and Abraham and loved them dearly before that.  Its my turn on this planet to hang out with “the Helper”…and I know He loves me dearly.  He is closer to me than my skin, he lives in my heart.  He protects me from the inside out. He is a gift from God.  Remember Him as the Dove that descended from Heaven when God said he was well pleased with Jesus. It is with great faith that I say yes, please! Land on me too!  I can trust this spirit for guidance and wisdom.  Because really, on days like this, what else can I do if I want to succeed?? I do not have the answers on my own.  I need a Helper. I am Real and Messy. I seek the freedom to be free in this world from chaos and attack.  The more I rely on the Spirit to teach me to live, the more free I become.  Its like having a personal refiner built in. And gold is most close to perfection when the refiner can see his reflection after the impurities are burned away. I also know that when being refined that the Refiner most closely keeps watch over the precious metal.   Lesson of the day to self- wake up to armor before coffee.  Maybe with coffee would be a good plan. Yeah that’s it. Either way, I commit to open THE Book before facebook. Will keep myself posted on how this works out.